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Myths and Beliefs Surrounding the

Sri Lankan Poruwa Ceremony

By Dilani Gomis I Updated on 14 May 2025

The Poruwa ceremony is one of the most sacred and celebrated aspects of a traditional Sri Lankan Buddhist wedding. Steeped in culture and symbolism, it represents the union of two souls in marriage through a series of age-old rituals. While the ceremony is beautiful and meaningful, several myths and beliefs have emerged over time, often influencing how couples approach this special event. In this post, we'll explore some common myths surrounding the Poruwa ceremony and clarify the beliefs behind them.

Myth 1 : Only Buddhist Couples Can Have a Poruwa Ceremony

Belief: The Poruwa ceremony is often associated with Buddhism due to its cultural significance within the Buddhist community. However, it is not exclusive to Buddhist couples. Many Sri Lankan couples, regardless of their religious beliefs, choose to include the Poruwa ceremony in their wedding for its deep-rooted symbolism and connection to tradition.

In mixed marriages, where one partner may not be Buddhist, the Poruwa ceremony is still a popular choice for honoring Sri Lankan heritage. It’s seen as a celebration of cultural unity rather than a strictly religious rite.

Myth 2 : The Date of the Ceremony Must Be Chosen by an Astrologer

Belief: Many Sri Lankans consult astrologers when selecting auspicious dates for their wedding, including the Poruwa ceremony. However, this is not a strict requirement. While astrology plays an important role in Sri Lankan culture, particularly in the context of marriage, some couples choose dates based on personal preferences, availability, or convenience.

For those who follow this practice, the astrologer not only selects the wedding date but also the time the couple should step onto the Poruwa. However, it's essential to remember that this is a personal choice rather than a binding rule.

Myth 3: The Bride and Groom Shouldn’t Speak During the Ceremony

Belief: Traditionally, the bride and groom are expected to remain quiet and composed during the ceremony to reflect their respect for the rituals and the sacredness of the event. However, there is no strict rule forbidding the couple from speaking. Many modern couples engage with each other or their families during the ceremony, creating a more relaxed and personal atmosphere.

While silence is often observed as a mark of reverence, it’s entirely up to the couple to decide how they wish to experience their ceremony.

Myth 4: The Type of Coconut Used for Breaking Determines the Couple’s Future

Belief: Breaking a coconut is one of the significant moments during the Poruwa ceremony, symbolizing the couple’s wishes for a prosperous and harmonious life together. A long-standing belief is that if the coconut breaks cleanly, it signals good fortune, while an uneven break is considered a bad omen for the couple's future.

However, many couples today don’t place as much emphasis on this tradition. In fact, some modern weddings omit the coconut-breaking ritual altogether, opting instead to simply step down from the Poruwa. This shift highlights the evolving nature of the ceremony, where the focus is more on the couple's love and commitment rather than symbolic gestures.

While these rituals are meaningful for some, the most important aspect of the ceremony is the bond between the couple, not how a coconut breaks.

Myth 5: Every Step of the Ceremony Must Be Performed Without Deviation

Belief: The Poruwa ceremony involves a series of well-prescribed rituals, such as exchanging betel leaves, tying the thumbs with a gold thread, and breaking a coconut. These rituals are deeply symbolic, representing prosperity, unity, and the joining of families. However, over time, modern interpretations of the ceremony have allowed for some flexibility.

Couples today often adapt the ceremony to reflect their personal preferences or family traditions. While some families strictly adhere to every step of the traditional ceremony, others may choose to modify or simplify certain aspects.

here are few rituals can be skipped of adopted as per your need

Washing the Groom’s Feet & Gifting a Gold Ring - Traditionally, the bride’s brother washes the groom’s feet and gives him a gold ring. But if you don’t have a brother or don’t feel like doing it—skip it! Gold is also expensive, so gifting cash in an envelope is just as respectful.
Breaking the Coconut - Usually done by the bride’s uncle, this ritual is believed to ward off evil. But if your family isn’t into it or has personal or religious reasons, it's okay not to include it.
Draping the Homecoming Saree on the Poruwa - Many couples now a days have a only one joined wedding and no homecoming, so there’s no need to spend on a separate Homecoming saree just for the Poruwa. You can use a regular good looking saree or even your going-away outfit. If you're wearing an Indian lehenga, the shawl can be used for the Poruwa too.
Stepping Up and Down from the Poruwa - Traditionally, the bride’s father helps her step up, and her uncle helps her down. If you prefer, your father can do both—it’s totally your call.
Removing Shoes on the Poruwa - Some believe that touching the seeds on the poruwa with bare feet brings good luck. But if you’re uncomfortable or worried about height difference, you can wear shoes. It’s your big day—comfort matters!

Myth 6: Only Certain People Can Stand on the Poruwa

Belief: Traditionally, only the couple, the master of ceremonies (Poruwa Siritha master), and select family members are allowed to stand on the Poruwa, which is seen as sacred. While it’s true that the Poruwa is reserved for specific individuals during the ceremony, there is no strict rule on who can or cannot stand on it.

Some families maintain this tradition closely, while others may allow more flexibility in who stands on the Poruwa, particularly if the couple has family members from different cultural backgrounds.

Myth 7 : The Ceremony Will Bring Bad Luck if Not Done Correctly

Belief: The fear of bad luck due to minor mistakes during the Poruwa ceremony is a common belief. Whether it’s the breaking of the coconut, the timing of rituals, or how the couple steps onto the Poruwa, many believe that missteps can invite misfortune. However, these beliefs are often rooted in cultural superstitions rather than reality.

The key to a successful Poruwa ceremony lies in its sincerity, love, and respect for the rituals. While tradition is important, couples should not feel undue pressure or stress over every detail. Ultimately, the ceremony is a celebration of their union, and the most important aspect is their commitment to each other.

Conclusion

The Poruwa ceremony is a meaningful part of a traditional Sri Lankan wedding, but that doesn’t mean every ritual is a must. By understanding what’s optional, couples can create a ceremony that feels personal, respectful, and true to their values. Whether you're having a modern celebration or a more cultural one, always consult your wedding planner and Ashtaka to guide you through the process with ease.

Remember, your Sri Lankan wedding should reflect your love story—not just tradition.

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